He's Our Hero! Sailor Garv!
by Rayvenwing K
Summary: hmm...Slayers Meets Sailor Moon.......heheheh......Sailor Garv and Sailor Chibi Hellmaster!!!!!!!! WAHAHAHA! From the twisted, bored minds of Ssj Xelloss and the Adept Lina Inverse!
1. Default Chapter Title

Here is something you don't see everyday, hee hee....^_^ *sings the Sailor Garv theme song* From the hyperactively bored minds of my alter-ego, the Adept Lina, and the inevitably funny Trickster Priest Ssj Xelloss!   
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Lina)  
  
Within a flash of rose-colored light, and a swirl of scented purple (don't ask) rosepetals, a solitary figure appears. As the light fades, it is seen to be the figure of a young girl-child-  
  
  
  
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Phibby GIRL!!!! :(  
Rayven BUT....BUT! You look more like a girl!!!! O.O  
Phibby NANI!!?!?! *holds one of those mega-spells in hand*   
Rayven *eeps and goes back to typing*  
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....young BOY, who is dressed in a dark blue tunic trimmed with gold. He stops walking and fixes his eyes on his oppenent, golden eyes glittering in the light....A wind arises from nowhere and blows back his hair in the typical dramatic anime-style pose as he gazes at the warring figures in front of him.  
"LINA INVERSE!!!!!!! Stop where you are!!!" Phibby commanded.  
Lina ignores him and continues to try prying away her Rezo's staff.  
"AWWWWH!!! Come ON Rezo!!! Lemme have it!!!!!" she squeals.  
"NO! HELL NO!!!!" Rezo shouts and tries to shake off Lina, who has planted both feet on his chest in an attempt to lever the staff away! Phibby perks up at the "hell". I KNEW I was needed! he thinks. YAAAY! My first job! Whee!  
"PLEAAAAAASEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've wanted it for so long!!!!!! Its just too jingly!!!!"  
Phibby face-faults at this horrid treatment! They were INGORING HIM! HIM Sailor Chibi! Stamping a small foot he yells- "REZO DANGIT you called for ME!!"  
Rezo does the equivalent of a blind blink (dont ask again ^_^ I'M writing this so there!!) and almost- almost- lets go of the staff. " I called YOU?!" He turns his face right and left, trying to sense where this newcomer was.  
Lina, still ignoring Phibby, jerks mightily on the staff, but somehow Rezo keeps ahold of it. "Your tricks shant work on me Lina-!!!!!" the priest gasps out as she kicks in a not-nice place.  
"ARE YOU TWO FINISHED PLAYING NOW!?!?!?!?!?!?!? CHIBI HELLMASTER POOOOWAH!!!" ( I swear they say that in Sailor Moon sometimes......o.o()() )  
Another swirl of rose petals and lavender ylight surrounds Phibby, and his body looses its clothes, becoming transparent and rainbow-colored with power, as Phibby begins to twirl, trailing petals. 'Oooooh-ing' music abounds-  
  
  
  
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Phibby Allright, BIRDY enough!!!  
Rayven O.o  
Lina For God's sake.....Don't go into detail......  
Rezo Absoloutely NO comment....  
Rayven GEEEEEZ Guys........*Lina glares at her for the 'Guys'* *Ray wails* Whyyyy do you guuuy alwaaaaaaaays wanna beat meeeeeeeeee???  
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-and Sailor Chibi Hellmaster steps out in a pink fuku, tacky plastic pink boots, fluffy bows at the breast and rear (XD), but thank GOD no pink rabbit-hair........(O.k. guys I love Sailor Moon actually but this is done in the name of humor! ^.~ No fireballing of Rayven!! NO! 'RUKA!!!!! PUT IT DOWN!!! AIIIEEEEEEEE! *is toasted* Itai....) Phibby turns to the side, showing off his girly form, and strikes the Moonie pose, two fingers culed to palm, pinky, index and thumb fingers extended. He smiles, and the golden eyes glitter with mischievious evil as an image of flames appear behind him.  
"I am Sailor Chibi Hellmaster and in the name of Hell I SHALL punish you! I will do wrongs and triumph over all good! Prepare to be vaporized, Dragon-Spooker! Its MY turn to take out the garbage instead of Garv this time!!!! WAHAHAAHHAAHA!"  
Lina's head whips around and her jaw drops with an audible ker-plunk......Rezo takes this golden oppurtunity and plants a boot in her face, wrenching his staff away and hightailing it into the forest with a dramatic swirl of red robes. Phibby takes notes on a pink notepad with purple ink. Mutters .."Tips on escaping with style.....not that I will ever need it...."  
A moment later, Lina recovers a bit, though she still looks green at the edges, a bit blue too in some spots. She spots the Hellmaster in a...PINK...fuku again...with....PINK boots... and falls back, stiffly, legs and fingers twitching, eyes gone all swirly n' stuff. @_@ (*author takes a break now* be right back, I'm thirsty....Lina wanna come?)  
Sailor Chibi Hellmaster raises one lil hand, thinking that THIS was THE oppurtunity! The enemy is paralyzed with total fear of my terrifying form! WAHAHAHAHA!!!! Smirking, Chibi Hellmaster steps tword the thoroughly cowed Lina. He powerposes like his idol-in-life, Sailor Garv, and raises on silkly be-gloved-  
  
  
  
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Rayven *returns from nabbing a Mtn. Dew and Chips Ahoy, only to find Phibby furiously typing, thinking she's gone* HEY YOU!!!!!!!!  
Phibby *freezes and looks up at Rayven, using the chibi-eye thing as a weapon* *9.9*  
Rayven GYAAAH!!! NOOO! NOOOT THE EYES!!! REZO-SAMA HELP!   
Rezo *dosent look up from his book, licks a finger and turns a page from one of Ray's Dragonlance novels, having appropriated the Bird's most comfy chair, staff propped against it* (Note allusion to my fav Dragonlance char, whahaha)  
Rayven*starting to feel the effects of the eyes* LINA-CHAN!!!!!!!!!!!!! *looks desperate*  
Lina *only rattles around the kitchen, plundering ruthlessly last night's sphaghetti, a few steaks, three-foot high sandwiches, etc, having been invited on a bad impulse to 'eat all you like' from Ray*  
Phibby *eyes get impossibly, innocently larger, and MORE kawaii sparklies appear* **O.O**  
Rayven*face-falls, then rolls the sleeves of her black dragony t-shirt up* THAT'S IT HELLBRAT!!!!!!! ~~I'M~~ THE AUTHOR HERE!  
Phibby *jumps up and RUNS, scared at this unexpected turn of events, leaving a Phibby-shaped hole in the wall, with his horns showing an HUGE imprint!*  
Rayven *mutter mutter* I always KNEW he must've used an invisibility spell on those.....*looks at monitor* ACK! What has he done? Oh well I'm too lazy to redo it....*hears an odd sound behind her, and whips around* Nani!!!  
Rezo *is snickering behind the cover of the book, perilously close to rolling on the floor laughing his butt off, which would please the author to no end!!!!*  
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(Now where was I.....) .....hand, summoning the Pink Sugar-Thing sceptere. Holding it high, he prepares to do what the bad guys in Slayers always wanted to do: Destroy the Dragon Spooker! ( NO FIREBALLS LINA! I gave you free run of the kitchen, OK?!?!?!?!?!) Only- the sceptere wasnt there.   
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!! It Always worked in training!!!" Chibi-Hellmaster wailed, desparately shaking his hands, trying to make it appear.  
Lina grunts on the ground, awakening.  
Phibby gets a blue look over his face. "COME on work!!!!!!!" Jumping up and down, pink fuku flapping in that said breeze.  
Lina's eyes snap open and they fix in utter horror on Phibby. "OH MY GOD!! Not another Fuku-happy guy! What next?? Rezo in a Fuku!!?!?!?"  
  
  
  
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Rayven Uhhhhhhh.....Lina?  
Lina HE DIDNT!!!! O_o  
Rezo *blushes demurely*  
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"......scratch that....ZEL in a fuku next?!?!!"   
Chibi-Hellmaster, hurt "But......but....WAIT I'm the Hellmaster here!" He raises the arm again, and a little gold sceptere with pink crystal on top appears in his hand. "HEELLL DESTROOOOYING PRINCESS HAAAALIATION!!!!" A rather large blob of magenta goo flies from nowhere (maybe Candyland?) and glomps itself on a halpless Lina, who once again finds herself with swirly eyes and eating dirt.  
Sailor Chibi-Hellmaster powerposes like his idol once again. "I have PUNISHED you!!! MUHAHAHAHHA!!!!!" Lightning flashes in the distance, and Phibby throws back his black-crowned head in glee, cackling....He dosent notice that Lina loved Candyland, the candy especially....She hops up, chanting, her aura flaring an astonishing orange.   
"DRAGOOOON SLAAAAAAAAAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
From his position, now rather astonishingly high in the air, Fibby notes that Lina hasnt been defeated! Tomorrow is another day. and I'll join up with my idol, *moonie eyes* Sailor Garv!!!!!!!! "Hee hee hee hee!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Xelloss)  
  
  
Garv looks up as Fibby crash lands next to him. "Oh no! Sailor Chibi Hellmaster!" Garv jumps up and runs over. "Sailor Chibi Hellmaster,who has done this to you?" He leaned over just in tie to hear Fibby mumble "Dragonspooker..." Garv clenched his fist while Fibby went back to being KO'ed. "Lina Inverse,you will pay for this! Chaos Dragon Power!!!!" Garv swirls around,clothes dissapearing in a bright array of colors. Red bows go into place at the chest and back while Garv's body archs. Garv swirls around one more time before powerposing.   
  
"I am Sailor Garv! I will fight rights and triumph over good! In the name of the Mazoku,I will punish you!!!" SG runs off to avenge Sailor Chibi Hellmaster,leaping up on roofs and panty-flashing innocent bystanders. Valgarv stands next to Chibi Hellmaster's prone body,waving his banner,"My hero!"  
  
~~Dramatic music plays~~ What will happen next? Will Sailor Chibi Hellmaster ever defeat anyone? Will Tuxedo Dynast make a appearance? Will Garv ever shave his legs?! Find out next time,Sailor Garv says! *giggles*   
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Lina)  
  
  
arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhwhiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaackkkkk.... ...baaaaaaaka.....lina.........diiiiiiie.......  
  
His eyes still swirly, Chibi Hellmaster drags himself to his feet, using Val to drag himself up. "I must fight.....I have no choice!ITAI!" Phibby squares those girly shoulders and sets off after Garv, singed fuku swirling in that damn breeze. Vallie-kuns-  
  
  
  
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(Another annoying author interruption....: ))  
Rayven *has hearts for eyes* White-haired bishonen....  
Lina DOWN GIRL DOWN!  
Rezo *WHACKS them both with staff to shut them up and goes back to reading Dragonlance* ^_^  
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-is being dragged behind by Phibby, who takes one look at the rooftops Garv so recently bounced over..and notes the swirly-eyed innocents that were panty-flashed!   
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!! I wanna do that toooo!!!!" Chibi now tries to go rooftop-panty-flashing too but cant...Instead he throws globs of pink..(ACK) MAGENTA! stuff at said bystanders..Pouting he takes the long way, wading through the masses of ko'ed ones, some singed from panties, some wif pi- magenta stuff on them. Vallie-kuns still drags behind Phibby.  
  
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And a word from our sponsers:  
  
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we Have:  
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ANNNNND OUR EVER POPULAR......  
  
!!!!!!**SAILOR GARV BISHOJO HAIR-REMOVER CREAM!!!**!!!!!!  
  
  
BUY NOW AT YOUR LOCAL SAILOR G-MARKET!!!!!  
(Valgrav and Chibi Hellmaster not included)  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
*************  
Rezo I WILL not ask where you got that idea, Bird.  
Rayven*giggling, cackling, insanely* EEHAhAHEHEHEHEHEEEEEEE!!!!!!  
*************  
  
  
Far away......  
  
Lina looks up as she sees that all-too-familiar flash of leghair, accompanied by the earth-shaking thump of HIS arrival. She pauses, Rezo's staff in hand as she stole it while he was reading... (R-chan NAAAAANI!!! LINA YOU @#$%!!)  
  
  
"NOOOOOO!!!its Sailor Garv!!! AIIIIEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK!", she barfs. "GO AWAY YOU FREAK!!!!"   
  
To be continued. Same Garv-time! Same Garv-place  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Xelloss)  
  
~~When we last left our heros,Chibi Hellmaster was running over ko'ed innocent bystanders,Valgarv dragged behind him,while the big hairy red guy (SG) arrived to confront Lina~~  
  
Garv ignored the sound of puking as he landed, magnificently flashing his manly leghairs. He assumed the traditional sailor pose.  
"I am Sailor Garv! I will fight rights and triumph over good! In the name of the Mazoku,I will punish you!!!"  
  
  
  
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Another word from our sponsers~~~  
  
Fibby is in a kitchen eating breakfast. "But mom! I'm sick of eating the same stuff for breakfast!"  
The tv suddenly turns on.   
("Greetings fans! I'm Sailor Garv,here to tell you to buy "SG's Wheaties". If you wanna grow up to be big,strong and manly like me,eat "SG's Wheaties". Also available with SG,Val and Hellmaster marshmallows. Now advailable at supermarkets everywhere!")   
"Oh wow! I wanna be just like SG,my idol!" Fibby drags mom off screen. Later is seen happily munching on "SG's Wheaties".  
  
We now continue~~~~  
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Garv sneered. "Lina Inverse,you shall pay for what you did to Sailor Chibi Hellmaster!" A wand suddenly appears in SG's hand and starts glowing. Sailor Garv does some artistic moves with it then points it at Lina.  
"Chaos Dragon Halatioooooooooooooooooon!"   
Red and black waves flow out of the wand,nailing Lina who was too shocked to move. Lina went flying over a building. Sailor Garv posed,"Victory!"   
  
He suddenly felt like he was being watched. SG whirled around,only to find Chibi Hellmaster and Valgarv standing at the corner,staring in awe. Valgarv started waving his banner wildy,"Yayyy!" Chibi Hellmaster jumped into the air,"Wahoooo!" "Ahhh,my faithful sidekicks. Come,we must celebrate this victory." After saying this,SG proudly lead them to the nearest bar. A few minutes later,Lina slowly got up from where she'd fallen. "Grrrrrr,they are SO DEAD!!!!!!!!"  
  
~~~What will happen next? Will Lina find our heros? Will our heros get f*cking drunk? Will Tuxedo Dynast ever drag his lazy @$$ over here?! Keep watching to find out,Sailor Garv says! *giggles*   
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Lina)  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
And now a recap of yesterdays THRILLING episode!  
Our hero Sailor Garv *insert cheesy cheering da-dam-daaa-daaa!music* had defeated the infamous minion of good, Lina Inverse! But wait?! Is that Lina getting out of the ruins, battle-aura sparking?! Oh no! Heroes watch out! She's back!  
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Lina cackles insanely...."Oh ye...oh....YES! THEY shall DIE!!!!! ARRRGH!!! I'm not fooling anymore! GRRRRRRRRRRR....." Shoving another peice of rubble away, she stalks away in search of the trio.  
  
Meanwhile~~  
  
Our heroes were having quite a ball at the bar! Chibi Hellmaster was breakdancing on the counters, knocking over drinks with his tacky boots into the laps of any beautiful ladies he sees! (Then again after 6 beers a chibi would even think that a horse was a beautiful woman....OR Garv...*Rezo is heard to be gagging*)  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
And now for another word from our sponsers-  
  
*to a sales jingle*  
Happy happy laa dee daa! Sailor Garv is cool no da! Happy happy laa dee da! Sailor G beer no da!  
DRINK BEER LIKE SAILOR GARV!!  
BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY!!!!! *****Sailor Garv-brand BEER!Aged to perfection!****  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
On the other hand Sailor Garv *insert music* is seen to be flashing his manly leg hairs, completely drunk...Not an unusual sight, at that. He is attempting to put moves on a waitress that looks at the big hairy red dude like he's a nut. Valgrav looks at Garv and the woman the faint light of jealously in eye...And as Garv reaches out to grab, "In the name of the Mazoku give me your beer! And-"  
  
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!  
  
The barroom door explodes inwards suddenly, on fire, trailing smoke and more innocent bystanders! Outlined in the flames is none other than Lina, singed, showing several inches of fang!  
She roars- "YAMEEEDE GAAAARRRRRRRV YOU PRICK!!!!! DAM YOU CHIBI!!!!!"  
  
Chibi proceeds to hids behind Val to use him as a shield, leaving it up to Garv. "Sailor Garv! You can do it!I know you can!!"  
  
"Yes yes, I know that I will!"   
  
To be Continued~ What will our hero do?! Will he toast Lina or will Lina toast him?!? Will Chibi ever get over being a @#$%&@# coward? Will Val ever kill the waitress? Tune in next time!   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Xelloss)  
  
Recap)~~~Lina Inverse had finally found our heros! But what is this? Sailor Garv is drunk?!   
"In the name of the Mazoku,give me your beer!" Oh my....~~~  
  
Sailor Garv bounced out of the rubble that was previously the bar. "Nooooooooooo! My beer! Damn you Lina Inverse!!!!!!!!!!!" The waitress screams. "Fear not fair maiden,I shall protect you!" Garv grins,fuku slightly swaying in the breeze. The waitress glomped onto his arm.  
Funny,he could sense a battle aura nearby,but it wasn't coming from Lina. Garv slowly turns around to see....*dramatic music*  
  
  
  
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(interuption by Xel)  
  
Xel: Yo Tuxedo Dynast! Where the hell are you?!  
Dynast: *appears silently* Right here  
Xel: eep! *drools* Dynast-samaaaa,you're so bishy!  
Dynast: I know.  
Xel: oooooh,elegant cold bishy-type! *hearts and sparklies,with a few bubbles tossed in*  
Dynast: ahem,shouldn't you be writing the episode?  
Xel: *sheepishly* oh yeah....wahahahahahahaaa!  
  
************************************************  
  
  
  
Sailor Garv turns around to see...........Valgarv totally surround by a battle aura! "hehe,ummm Val,is there something wrong?" Val silently points to waitress. "Umm,you didn't like the food?" Val shakes head. "Ummm." Garv scratches his head (drunken brain trying to process this,there's a brief scent of something burning)and looks down at the waitress,who's still clinging to his arm.   
  
"Oh! Hey,I'm just protecting the inoccent bystanders,she doesn't mean anything to me!" Val starts to power down. "Ooooooh,must remember that one!" Chibi Hellmaster furiously scribbles notes on a notepad.   
  
Meanwhile,Lina is getting even more pissed. "DON'T IGNORE ME!!!! FIREBALL!" Just when the fireball is about to fry our heros,it gets knocked away by .....an ice-blue rose?! Everyone looked up to see a dark figure semi-hidden in the shadows.   
"Hmm,can it be......we have a new allie?" Sailor Garv said in shock. ~~more dramatic music~~  
  
  
Next Episode: Will we found out who the new allie is?! Will the waitress ever un-glomp SG? Will we ever find out what's in the Hellmaster's notebook? Find out next time,Sailor Garv says! *giggles*  
  
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(somewhere faaaaaaaaaar away,in a secret club named Conquest Bishonen,females were plotting to capture a new species of bishonen,aka "the new allie".) ^_~   
  
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And we're still working on it! Enjoy! : ) WAHAHAHAHA!   
  



	2. Default Chapter Title

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Lina)  
Last episode our hero Sailor Garv *insert dramatic da-da music* was found by the infamous Lina Inverse! He barely managed to escape the wrath of a jealous Valgrav, and a fireball from Lina!Oh no! He didnt land the waitress either! But wait! Who is that new ally? Friend or foe? Is this the legendary (BISHONEN) Prince of Ice? Tune in to see!  
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All eyes fasten on the ice-blue rose glittering brightly in the half-light of the barroom, the last of the fireball hissing as it goes out around it. Then the eyes trail upwards, to the shadowy figure in the tall stained-glass window.   
  
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Lina*fumes* Since WHEN did bars get tall stained-glass windows? This entrance will be better than MINE wont it??  
Rayven They do now! And YES his will be!  
Rezo *mutter* When does the insanity end...  
Phibby WHEN DOES MY PART GET BIGGER!  
Rayven MUAHHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!  
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The figure is tall and of a striking posture (*author puts her drool bucket under chin*)with a long black cape lined in ice blue silk flaring in that damn wind. On top of his blue-black hair rests a tall top hat, and a white mask covers deep percingly blue eyes- (*Rayven slaps herself to reality and out of Harlequin-land*) A small, wicked smile plays across his lips.   
"A rose is a deadly object when wielded by one of power-" He pulls out another rose and looks at it, pondering the petals-"...one of power such as I." He turns his ice blue eyes on Garv and smiles again. "You looked like you needed my help Sailor Garv."  
Garv blinks at the man, slightly envious of the way BOTH Valgrav and the waitress were eyeing the figure. Glancing across the room, he even sees the Dragon-Spooker drooling like mad, eyes gone to huge hearts. Hell, even Chibi-Hellmaster was scribbling on his notepad like mad! Powerposing, showing off more leghair than pretty-boy will ever have,Garv booms: "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!"  
The figure smirks cooly.*violin music and dramatic piano aboung, with the sound of coucarachas* " I am Tuxedo Dynast, Master of all that is evil, the Prince of-  
  
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Rayven&Lina*hearts for eyes, chanting* BISHONEN!!!!PRINCE OF BISHONEN!!!!!!  
Rezo GAH! That WORD!  
Dynast *appears and takes Rezo's staff* May I?  
Rezo *smirking* Certainly.  
Dynast *brains the Bird&Lina with it* I think I could use this on that Xelloss character as well.  
Rezo By all means, go ahead!  
Rayven&Lina @_@  
Phibby *takes notes*  
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...Ice."  
Everyone gasps! This is the legendary Prince! Oh my!~*more dramatic music!*~ Tuxedo Dynast leaps down from the window, cape flaring out dramatically...ice blue silk flashing in the light..., and lands on his feet, smoothly like a cat. Our hero, meanwhile, had sucumbed to the newcomers bishoneness!  
Everyone in unison, the fight forgotten: "WE LOVE YOU TUXEDO DYNAST!!!"  
Dynast face-faults gracefully, hair blowing in the breeze. "NANI? Sailor Garv, Chibi Hellmaster, you are supposed to be fighting Lina, remember?" He sighs dramaticaly and puts a gloved hand to his temple to massage it."This is getting old...Everywhere I go masses swoon over me! Itai my head hurts..."  
Promptly a two familiar figures appear and beat back the crowd rushing to help Tuxedo Dynast!  
"DYYYNAAASST BREAAATH!!!"  
"FIIIIIIREBAAAAAALL!!!!"  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
BUY TUXEDO DYNAST AUTOGRAPHED CELLS!  
  
Signed by the ~REAL~ Tuxedo Dynast, Guaranteed or your money back! (At least .10 of it...:) )  
  
SEE YOUR FAVORITE SUPERHERO"S AUTOGRAPH!   
  
BUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUIMTIREDOFTYPINGALLTHEBUYSYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUYBUY NOW WHILE SUPLIES LAST!!!!!  
  
Opps sorry folks they all were sold out already! Bought by Ssj Xelloss Metallium and Rayvenwing k'Sheyna! (*who are smirking, using Garv's credit card to buy them, and count cells gleefully*)  
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What is this? The Trickster Priest and a Bird! Is this Rayven and Xelloss?! It is! Promptly they glomp onto Tuxedo Dynast's arms and pull out their BishonenBalls (think of Pokeballs, bishonen-style), glaring at the crowd! "MINE!" they yell!   
Tuxedo Dynast glares."You two are supposed to be writing this!" The rest of the cast nods, ready to pounce on Dynast after the esteemed and brilliant authors leave. Xell and Ray procede to glomp harder and start to drag Tuxedo Dynast away!  
  
  
Will Sailor Garv be deprived of his new ally? Will Chibi ever get enough notes? Will Lina stop drooling enough to get her butt in gear? WILL THE AUTHORS RUN OFF WITH TUXEDO DYNAST? ( I guarantee they will!) Find out our next exciting episode! *giggle* Sailor Garv says!   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Xelloss)  
  
When we last left off,the crazy--...ahem,the brillant authors were dragging away Tuxedo Dynast, laughing maniacly. What will happen? Find out in today's exciting episode of Sailor Garv!)  
  
*******************THEME*************************  
(Fibby,Xel and Rayven grab some mics,while Garv gets a guitar,doing a rock version of the theme)  
  
~~Fighting good by midnight,   
Chugging beer by daylight,   
Always panty-flashing during a fight,   
He is the one named Sailor Garv!~~  
  
(rest of theme gets cut off by a huge fireball. "Itaiii!")  
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Tuxedo Dynast glared at the two authors glomped onto his arms. "Let go." They eeped and slowly, very reluctently,let go and pouted. Dynast straightened out his tux and cape. Sailor Chibi Hellmaster came up to them and tugged on Xel's pant leg. "Eek!What are you doing?!" Xel blushes and holds on to pants so they won't fall. Chibi Hellmaster used the kawaii look on Xel. "Ano...."   
While a staring contest went on,Rayven started inching back towards Dynast,who was trying not to sweatdrop. "Ack! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!! KAWAIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Xel broke down and glomped Chibi Hellmaster,who snickered. "Yup,it worked!" He gave the victory sign...."Wha? Nani?!!!!" Xel slung him over her shoulder and signaled to Rayven,who pounced on Dynast. Then they ran off laughing into the beautiful sunset.  
  
Back near the ruins of the bar,SG and co were still standing there in shock. Sailor Garv blinked,"What just happened here?" Valgarv didn't answer,since he was busy trying to look more bishonen like Dynast,so Garv directed the inquirey to Lina. "Grrrrr,those two just ran off with Tuxedo Dynast!!!" SG looked shocked. "We need to save him! L-Sama knows what they'll do to my beloved prince!" Lina arched an eyebrow,"What about the Hellmaster?" Garv replied intelligently, "Who?" Lina snorted,then looked off towards the sunset,looking very dramatic. "Well,I'm going to save him,are you coming?" Everyone gasped. "What, my hero Sailor Garv joining up with the Drammata? the Dragonspooker? the Enemy of All Who Lives?!" Valgarv shouted while SG looked thoughtfull....  
~~slow,melodramatic music~~  
  
--Meanwhile,back at the secret club,Conquest Bishonen....~~  
"Wahahahahhahahhaaaa!" Xel and Ray said while doing the happy dance and partying. In the backround,Dynast and Fibby were being brainwashed with bishonen energy collected by bishonenballs.  
  
  
(Will our hero make a truce with his enemy to save Tuxedo Dynast and Sailor Chibi Hellmaster? Just what the hell are the authors planning? Do they even know themselves?(probably not) Stay tuned to find out! Sailor Garv says! *giggles*)  
  
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Today's episode was greatly influenced by "Buhsuka" a crazy,very kawaii song by Megumi Hayashibara,advailable at Phoenixfeather's mp3 Horde weekly section ^_^   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Lina)  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Last exciting episode, our hero Sailor Garv had two allies stolen by the incredibly (kawailly) evil authors, Xell and Rayven! Poor Tuxedo Dynast and Sailor Chibi Hellmaster! (Garv*as briliantly as usual* Who was that last one? Xel&Ray *brain him with Staff™ and Mallet© respectively*)Will Sailor Garv join with the Enemy of All Who Live? (Lina I'll get you two for that.) Will Valgrav's bishonen powers emerge? Tune in to find it out!  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
**************THEME*****************  
*the ENTIRE Slayers cast (Yes, even you Zelgadiss! MUAHAHA! The power of Authorhood!)and a mysterious little dragon that pops out of nowhere all join in and sing*   
  
Fiiiiiiiiiiiighting goood by mooonliiiight  
Chuuuugging beeeer by daaayliiiight!  
Alwaaaaays panty-flaaaashing in a real fight, He is the one named Sailor Garv!  
  
*Garv appears at the end, a pink gauze curtain falling from him as he twirls and powerposes, leg hair flashing in the spotlight,stage center* Garv YEAH! *winks* hee hee!  
*********END THEME**************  
  
~In the Fortress/Tribal Village of Conquest Bishonen the evil Queen LoN-sama is reclining in her chair, hands caressing a ball in the shape of the world, her Supremely Kawaily Eeeeeeeevili Generals Xell and Rayven bowing before her, a small little dragon peeking out from various folds in her dress.   
Xell steps forward, "Oh mighty Queen of Nightmares we have brought you an offering! The Bishonen Tuxedo Dynast and Sailor Chibi Hellmaster! Isnt that right Rayven!" Xel gives Ray, who is reading Fushigi Yugi manga, a sharp nudge. Ray eyes Xel resentfully" But I thought the plan was WE were going to-" Xel slaps a hand over Ray's mouth, sweatdropping massively.  
"Um...scratch what she just said, poor BIRD had been having too much chocolate, ne?"  
The Queen looks unimpressed and turns her gaze to where the two halpless bishonen are being brainwashed, and danced around by the members of Conquest Bishonen. hmm...She thinks. That chibi Lina shows promise...Her gaze turns to the other conquests, Zechs (YES he HAD to come first) , Zelgadiss, Marron, Rezo,Kapii Rezo, the entire lot of bishonen from Fushigi Yugi. There was somehting missing..  
"AIIIE!WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT! GET IT OUT OF MY *!@&!@&*% DRESS!" Queen L-sama shrieked, and jiggled her dress around,Hellmaster perking up at the Hell, her never-faithful generals (Who I assure you plot to take all the bishonen for themselves! MUAHAHAHA!) trying to not help her. A small lil dragon drops out of her bustline, giggling.   
"Me Hasakuro! Me wanna play!" He spies Chibi Hellmaster's pink fuku and with a small roar pounces it, shredding.Chibi squeals and bites the lil thing. Everything grinds to a halt, and all say in unison- "WHAT IN THE NAME OF HELL IS THAT!"   
  
"Oh ho ho ho! A Distraction put here by ME! Sailor Garv!" A strong voice trumpets!  
  
*************************************************  
(And now a word from our sponsers)  
~~~~RETRO-MERCIAL!~~~~  
*Sailor Garv appears in a flashy polyester stretch bellbottoms, platform shoes, and a 'fro*  
  
Buy my line of Hair Gel! Guaranteed to work!   
*a pic of former hairdo appears, folowed by a 'fro-ified one* *he winks and twirls, powerposing, disco lights flashing* Guaranteed to work on leg hair too!(*insert author spazing, twitching on the floor, a flashback of Marge Simpson forming in mind*)  
  
*winking,he pulls up the leg of the bellbottoms, displaying spiky leghair* All the rage! Sailor Garv Says!  
  
**************************************************  
  
All of Club Bishonen: NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANI!!! WHAT THE F*CK!!!  
Tuxedo Dynast's ice-blue eyes simply gaze up from where he was lecturing the authors and, a anime-crying pink-fuku-less Chibi Hellmaster with a kawaii purring Hasakuro in lap, on the proper way to write a story. The Conquested Bishonen sat there and looked big and dumb, though still bishonenish. (*Ray looks around to see if Gourry had taken over her keyboard*)  
Queen LoN-sama cries "DAMN YOU SAILOR GARV! WHAT the! THE ENEMY OF ALL WHO LIVE TOO!!! NOOOO! SUCH AN ALLIANCE IS IMPOSSIBLE!!!!"  
  
**************************  
LinaDIIIIIIIIIIE RAYVEN DIIIIIIIIIIIEEE!  
Rayven *poses in her new SM-SG! General outfit* WAHAAHHAHAHAAAAAAA! I AM EVIL!  
**************************  
  
A figure is suddenly spotlighted, a tall, buff man with looong red hair tied at the end with a maroon bow. He twirls delicately upon one booted foot, and comes around in the traditional Sailor Moon pose, blue fuku and loose white uniform shirt ( They simply could NOT put a tight bodysuit on Garv for censor reasons!)flaring in that damn anime breeze." I am Sailor Garv, and in the name of the Mazoku I WILL punish you! You simply cant go around kidnapping bishonen, unless its might be me!"  
Garv is suddenly butt-bumped out of the way, Lina taking over the spotlight!Her red-hair and shoulder armor flashing, cape flaring she cries " I am Lina Inverse, Sorceress Supreme! I am a force of good to be reckoned with! Darkness beyond twi- OOH IS THAT ZECHS!!!!!! EEEEEEEEE!!!!!!" Squealing she bolts over to the brainwashed Zechs, drooling over his bishonenss. Garv eyes her, glaring.   
" Wernt you SUPPOSED to be on MY side?" Still fuming from the spotlight-stealing he gets up, not seeing the Chibi Lina who had been fried by a chance Panty-Flash-Of-Doom™, gone all swirly-eyed. (alt+0159 on numberpad! MUAHAH! Ray is QUEEN!)  
No answer from Lina but a giggle as she throws Zechs over one shoulder and makes off with her Conquest. General Rayven snaps back to life and runs after, shrieking "HE'S MINE MINE MINE MINE MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE I TELL YOU!!!!!! MIIIIIIIIE!!!!!!" Xel eyes Garv unfriendly-like, stepping in front of HER Conquest, Tuxedo Dynast! They lock eyes, a battle of wills forming!   
  
"Tuxedo Dynast is MY property, Garv." Xell smiles that 'Sore wa imitsu desu' smile. Garv fumes and his hand twitches, summoning his wand.   
In the distance a chibi Queen LoN-sama is seen, waving her arms and legs frantically in an attempt to get her spotlight as THE Head of the bad people back. Haskuro gnaws on Chibi Hellmaster's pink wand, while Phibby is frantically working at the ropes that bind him, praying that the blasted thing wont eat the REST of him too! Dynast's eyebrow is twitching in supreme annoyance about being treated like a side of beef, while Lina and Rayven play tug-of-war with Zechs. Sparks begin to fly between Xel and Garv, and Xel actually opens both eyes, while Garv turns rear-ward prepared to panty-flash!  
Suddenly a ice-green rose flashes between the two, and the room stills in shock. All eyes go to Tuxedo Dynast, who is equally shocked, and shrugs!  
Then a strong voice is heard, and a spotlight flashes to another stained-glass window, where a shadowy figure is seen.  
  
"Plagarists these days, OY!" Dynast mutters, making a mental note to blow up this upstart, a direct threat to his bishoness!  
Garv face-faults, recognizing the pale spiky green hair and horn, frying the stupified Xelly with a Panty-Flash. Getting up he shouts-  
"VALGRAV!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?"  
  
WHAT IS THIS!!!!!!? Is this new potential bishonen catch actually VALGRAV! Will Xell and Garv square it off anyway? Will Queen L-sama actually become the Evil Last Person to Fight? Will Rayven and Lina settle who gets Zechs? Will Tuxedo Dynast prove true to form? Find out next exciting episode, Sailor Garv says! *giggle*  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
And Rayven/Lina sighs dramatically....@_@ Sorry for all that hee hee itsh three inthe morning and I'm CAFFENE-HAPPY! WHOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! NAA NO DAAAAA! DAAAAAAA NO DAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! DAAAAAA DAAAAAAA! That music provided once again by our dear Phoe-chan at her mp3 Horde! ^_^() Chichiri's image song, Ochanoko Saisai Hengen Jizai!  
  



	3. Default Chapter Title

Yes, our be-furred mazoku hero returns with another bout of wackiness from your beloved authors! *grins*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Xelloss)  
**********************theme***********************  
*hauntingly beautiful piano music plays while Treize-sama sings*  
  
~Fighting good by moonlight~  
~Chugging beer by daylight~  
~Always panty-flashing in a fight!~  
~He is the one named Sailor Garv!~  
  
*Author gazes adoringly at Trieze,then gets whacked on the head* itaii! *grumbles* alright,I'll continue   
  
**************************************************  
  
Valgarv gazed down at them,surveying the shocked crowd while brushing a locke of aqua-green hair outta his golden eyes,which gleamed in the light. Satisfied that his enterance had grabbed everyone's attention,he silently jumped down and landed smoothly like a cat,his cape swirling around his sleek body. The crowd ooohed and aaahed,clapping.  
  
"Garv-sama,are you alright?" Val asked,walking over. SG stood there in shock,blinking a few times to make sure he wasn't seeing things. Garv nudged Xel,who was laying flat on the floor,still a little stunned from the PFofD. "Oy,you seeing what I'm seeing?" Xel looked up,"Huh? Ya mean Val running around throwing roses and looking bishy?" "Errr,yah. Okay,so it's not the beer.... Val! Just what the f*ck do you think you're doing?!" SG shouted,forgeting about Xel and freeing the other bishys. Val posed,"I am Tuxedo Valgarv! I'm here to help you guys out." Dynast frowned and calmly walked over to the trio. "Oh really?" He said coldly.   
  
Lina shivered and paused in the tug-of-war. "Did it just suddenly get really cold in here?" Ray took the oppurtunity to snatch Zechs away and run off back to where Fibby was "playing" with the little dragon,Lina hot on her trail. Xel also shivered,then her eyes widen as she realized why it was so cold all of a sudden. Jumping up,she shouted "Ohshit,Dynast's pissed!"   
  
Dynast's eyebrow twitched. "Not really,General Xel,I'm just thinking that there's only supposed to be ONE of us in a tuxedo." "Don't worry Dynast-sama,I still love you!" Xel cooed,glomping onto him. After prying her off,Dynast continued. "Obviously,I'm the most powerful,so you should just run along home right now. Besides,I'm a prince and you're just a follower of Garv." Valgarv's eyes narrowed and he glared furiously at Dynast. "Prince my ass,we shall see who's really the prince!"   
  
*dramatic music* dun dun da daaaaaaaa! no daaaaa!  
  
**************************************************  
  
"NANI?!" Xel,SG,Rayven and Fibby shrieked. They huddled together in a group and started to discuss this new developement. "Can that be true? Can Valgarv actually be the prince?" SG whispered to the two kawaii generals,who looked at each other and shrugged. "Well,Dynast is supposed to be the legendary Prince of Ice." Xel commented,with sparklies in her eyes. Rayven nodded while brushing some lint off her uniform. "Yah,but it's possible that Valgarv might have some unforseen role. Something we might be able to use to our advantage! wahahahaaa!" As the generals laughed evily,and Fibby scribbled notes,Garv frowned. "You're the authors,you should know this stuff!" "Huh? Oh yah,eheheee." They blushed and looked innocent.   
  
"Well,there is the script." Ray said,looking thoughtful. "We have a script?!" Xel asked,shocked,looking to see if the others knew about this. Clearly they didn't either,as Fibby made a note and circled it while SG picked himself off the floor. Rayven sweatdropped. "Yah....now where did I put that thing..." She searched throughout all her dimensional pockets,sub-space pockets,even mallet-space before finally pulling out some paper from Author-space. Ray proudly showed the paper to them,which caused SG to once again kiss the floor hard. The `script' was really some pieces of papar stapled together,with many notes scribbled on it and some sections rewritten. Xel brightened up. "Yup,that's it!" She said excitedly. Fibby looked it over. "Humph,my notes are better." He stuck out his tongue at them. "Kawaii!" They squealed and glomped him. Garv sighed and picked up the script. "Finally." He grumbled,then started searching for the description of Valgarv's character/role. "Aha!" He grinned and was about to read it,when the script burst into flames.  
  
**************************************************  
  
"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!" Ray and Xel yelled,looking on in horror as a few bits of charred paper floated to the floor. They looked comepletely in shock,as Garv roared out,"Whoever did that is gonna get panty-flashed!" The Evil Queen LON-sama came outta the shadows. "For too long,I have been ignored. I will not tolorate it any longer." The Queen snapped,glaring. "Eep." Fibby and SG started backing away. The two authors snapped outta their shocked daze. "Oh well,we'll just wing it like we usually do." "Yah,I guess."   
  
"Ahem!" They looked up at Lon-sama and quickly bowed. "My Queen,what are you doing here on the battlefield?" Xel asked nervously. "Report!" "Umm,well just before I could kick Sailor Garv's ass,horn-boy over there interrupted!" Xel said,pouting. "Yeah right,like you could ever hope to beat me." Garv jeered. The sparks started to fly again. While they hurled insults at eachother,Ray continued with the report. "Also there seems to be debate over who this Tuxedo Valgarv is and if he is a prince." The Queen mulled over the new info. "Hmmm,I see. My plans will have to be adjusted accordingly to deal with this new situation."  
  
As they looked over to where they last saw the two bishys,they were standing there clearly mad about also being ignored. "We're trying to have a fight here,minna." Dynast pointed out annoyed while Val stood there glaring with his arms crossed. SG snorted,"Sorry guys,but me and the general still got this fight to do." Xel nodded vigoressly. "You guys can fight later,we've been waiting since last episode!" The argument was about to escalate when a sudden golden flash blinded everyone,leaving them blinking rapidly. As their sight went back to normal,one thing was made very clear when they went to resume the fight. "What the ****?!" SG shouted,while Xel looked appalled. Indeed,where only moments before stood Dynast and Valgarv,there was now only empty space. Rayven was about to run over when she glanced back at the queen,who was grinning evily. "Ahahahhaaaaaa! If we don't know who's the true prince,I shall have them both!" With that,LON dissappeared in,you guessed it,a golden flash,leaving everyone shocked and disorganized.  
  
**************************************************  
What will the Evil Queen do with them? Why does she want the prince? Will Xel and Sailor Garv ever get to continue their fight? Will Chibi Hellmaster get a bigger part? Just where did that little dragon go anyways? Did any of this actually make sense? Stay tuned to find out! Sailor Garv says!  
**************************************************  
ack,didn't realize this part was soo long! This part is kinda inspired by my fav wrestler,Chyna, who can really kick major ass *_* ja!   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Lina)  
  
*Sailor Garv themesong plays, Lina and Ray dragging Zel in to do the guitars...Sg, primps in his new fuku to sing, Valgrav stripping of his shirt to play the drums (*.*)...Phibby happily nabs the keyboards while Xel snags the mic and prepares to sing karaoke!*  
  
"Fiiiighting good by moonlight,   
Chuuugging beer by daaaylight,   
Always panty-flashing in a real fight,   
HE IS THE ONE NAMED SAILOR GARV!!!!" (Theme song now a part of Mass-Sublimation Brainwashing Tech. and Co. ©)  
  
Sg realizes that Xel stole his microphone (after much computing) and snatches it back. "Baka! this is MY song you're singing!"  
Xel grins that wide grin of hers the bespeaks trouble, and winks. "And who's the author here!"  
SG backs up a bit, sweatdropping and thinking of being stuffed into tights, a blue coat and cape.....  
Xel reads these thoughts..."WHAHAHHAHAAA! GOOD IDEA!  
Garv sweatdrops.....  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
"HEY!!   
Sailor Garv stared at the space where the Evil Queen had vanished, his mind a-whirr...Smoke began to wisp out of his ears, and he snapped his fingers suddnly, as an idea struck our beloved gender-bending, be-furred hero!  
"We'll go after them!!!"  
  
Ray and Xel, still wailing and bemoaning the loss of their much-worked over and patched script, suddenly stand up and pose, capes flaring outwards in the breeze. "IN THE NAME OF EVIL AUTHORHOOD WE SHALL PUNISH YOU L-SAMA!!"  
"We may have not worked on it very much..." Ray says-  
"BUT WE LIKED IT DAMNIT!" Xel finishes!  
Both proceed to cackle manically and work on a new script, evil author brains going into overtime!  
  
Sailor Garv face-faults, flashing the bishys (aka Zechs and Treize and a host of FY, Rail/Lost Universe, Aya and the rest of Weiss Kruez etc. hee hee). They fall of course, which causes a stir with the rest of the shocked onlookers...Lina takes the opputunity to snatch up Zechs and stuff him into her sub-space cape, cackling manically. (As if that's unusual.....) Ray sesnses this violation of her Bishonen and tackles Lina with intent to strangle! They tussle for a few minutes, untill Ray pulls out Mallet© from no-where and konks Lina on the head...  
"Itaaaaaaaaaaaaai!" Lina mumbles, ko'ed.  
"VICTORY! OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOOOO!" Ray chuckles as she nabs Zechs and glomps onto him, brushing off her already spotless uniform like the preeny bird she is! Zechs, past all resistance, gives up to his fate...(...whee there goes the power of Evil Authorhood again mwhahahahaaa!!! Come to my my children...*imitates a scary Vincent Price-ish tone but ends up sounding like Rosie O'Donnel....*)  
  
SG & Co. stare at this odd little battle, every single eyebrow twitching at yet another manifestation of Fangirl Oddness....Xel coughs and takes the chance to steal Treize from the bishonen bunch before he could get in trouble yet *again*.   
"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad! ^__________________^"  
  
"EXCUSE ME HERE BUT SHOULDN'T WE BE RESCUING DYNAST AND VALGRAV?!?!" Garv suddenly bellows, taking the tops off several elderly bishonen's toupees, and blasting the unsuspecting Hasakuro and Chibi Hellmaster into a palm tree! (Palm Tree courtesy of Filia's Flower Shoppe.) Xel and Ray blink, now with hairdoes reminiscent of those odd Dragon Ball Z people...Lina sits up.  
Xel hops up, fist clenched and her aura flaring an amazing shade of purple. "WE MUST SAVE DYNAST-SAAAAMA!"  
Ray jumps beside her "YEAH! LET'S KICK THE EVIL QUEEN'S TAIL FOR ALL THE BISHONEN SHE MADE US CAPTURE!"  
Xel pokes Ray "Oy, isnt that a good thing though?!"  
"Umm.....yea....."   
  
Finally loosing his temper in typical redheaded-ish fashion, Garv grabs the two, and scoops up Chibi Hellmaster and Hasakuro in his huge be-furred arms, glomping!  
Xel:"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-  
Ray:"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK-"  
Lina: :"AYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIIIIII-"  
Phibby:"AAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRR!"  
Hasa:"EEEEEEEEEEERGYAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"  
"Oh can it....OFF TO FIGHT L-SAMA!"  
  
A voice then cut through the air- "ORO!!"  
Garv paused, doing a most interesting eye-brow dance. "WHAT THE censored to attain a PG rating!!"  
"Hahaha! I am..." the figure stepped out from the shadows..."SAILOR COPY REZO!!!"  
  
Indeed, this new hero was Copy Rezo, but now in a pale blue fuku, high-heeled blue boots of shimmery leather, a kawaii bow at chest to match, and with the Rezo-Hairdo of course! (Copyrighted by none other than the lovable R-chan himself! *gets hit by a random staff*) Posing, Sailor Copy Rezo whips out a staff (think Saturn's Glaive with jinglys at the base of the flute thingy!) and twirls it overhead. "Take our bishonen from us?!" her eyes glitter and narrow. "I don't think so!"  
  
Chibi Hellmaster swoons and glows "I have a new hero! Sailor Copy Rezo I love you!!!" whilst taking notes on new fashion sense!  
  
Garv face-faults again in a flurry of red fur and fuku (say that 10- times over and over!), then eye the authors...Xel and Ray smirk and hide the newly cut-and-pasted-worried-over-pocky-smeared-and-java'ed-to-death script up Garv's skirt, where they are SURE no one will look....  
Garv yelps "YEEEK!"  
Copy sweatdrops at SG, along with the rest of the glomped people. "Fuu...." then winks at the camera. "Now to a commercial! Stage on!!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
The Phenomenon......NEVER SEEN BEFORE IN AMERICA!!!  
It's purple...  
It's large...  
It's a curse to some...  
It needs more hairgel than 'Fro...  
...More Sailor Garv brand hairgel than his Spiked Leghair©....  
  
SAILOR COPY REZO"S HAIR!!! Folks, this is a one-time offer- have a wig sent to your house TODAY!!! Signed by Copy Rezo as a bonus! ONLY $19.99!!!!! plus Shipping and Handling for the Guys-Who-Loose-Mail-and Luggage-at-Airports  
  
BUY TODAY!!!!! LIMITED SUPPLY!!! DON'T WAIT TILL YOU GO BALD! BUY THIS NOW DANG YOU!  
  
Screen Shot of Copy grinning and powerposing on one booted toe, twirling a wig around one finger and upstaging Garv!  
Garv steams in the distance, then thinks "What the heck!" and glomps Copy  
  
This product is now endorsed by the Lovable Sailor Garv!   
(*author laughing is heard.....*   
Ray: "Remember we get 60% of the profits..."  
Xel: "Really! More money to buy bishy thigns with!"  
Ray: "Ohhhh yeaaaaaaaaaaaa!"  
Xel and Ray: $______$ KA-CHING!)  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Scene returns, with Sailor Garv and Sailor Copy Rezo chatting like old chums, plotting. And Plotting. And Plotting. And Plotting more. And guess what? Plotting! (hehehehehehe...Warning: RAY ON SUGAR!)  
Xel and Ray bite their nails, wondering what L-sama is doing to Dynast and Valgarv...Actually knowing that they'll be- *sound of plot-spoiler being sucked out of typing range and thought*....Hasa and Chibi Hellmaster tussle again, over the fluffy ended pink powderpuff of a pencil Phibby keeps! Lina sits in a corner, munching on Ray's pocky stash-  
"HEY THAT WASNT IN THE SCRIPT!!!!" Ray squeals and tackles Lina for the pocky!  
"YOU'RE FIGHTING WITH *ME* LINA INVERSE FOR FOOD?!!?!?!?"  
"MY POCKY!"  
"MINE"  
MINEMINEMINEMINEMINEMINE!"  
"Ah-ha I ate it all!" Lina smerks. (Smerk© of Zel.)  
"I-t-a-iiiiiiiiiiii......"  
  
"Um, how about we just get up and GO get Dynast for Zelas' sake!" Xel folds her arms over chest. "Hm?"  
All agree with that, as none can decide on wether to break the subdimensional doors down, throw rotten tomatoes at L-sama, or perhaps storm the Bastille! (which has no relevance whatsoever....)  
  
" LET US GO FORTH AND GET THEM BACK!" Garv bellows, knocking the palm tree down in his war cry!  
Xel:"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!"  
Ray: "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAW!"  
Chibi:"GOOOOOOOOO GAAARV!"  
Copy: "GO MEEEEEEEE!"  
All: "GOOOOO SAILOR COPY REZO!!!!"   
  
~~~~~~  
Will our heroes, and the newest ally, Sailor Copy Rezo, be able to defeat the Evil Queen LoN-sama? Will the authors keep the script safe? Will Chibi Hellmaster find a new idol? WILL THE EVIL QUEEN KEEP DYNAST AND VALGARV?!!?  
  
Stay tuned to find out! Same Garv-place! Same Garv-time! Sailor Garv says! *giggle*  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Heavily influenced by Gundam Wing mp3's from Phoe-chans, sugary Hyper Elixr aka Mtn Dew...and the usual bout of late-night Muse Spazing....heheheheheheheheeee *cackles and runs off to sleep!!*  
  
  



End file.
